A spark does not guarantee love any more than a sunny day means the lake water will be warm and the swimming will be great. If it does happen, it will be mostly a coincidence.
In fact, in my experience, the greater the spark and the faster the flame of love grows, the quicker it dies out (or even worse, gets out of control and burns everything in sight in true disaster fashion).
The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy.
With researchers estimating that 30-60 percent of married individuals in the United States will have an affair at some point in their relationship, it may be time to really examine what causes our affections to wane.
What your friend thought was a spark was actually just her ability to feel real love faster.
Some people just take longer to get to the real love.
Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity.I recently came across a story of a woman who was in a long term relationship (several years) with a man that she described as emotionally available, kind, funny who kept her very satisfied in the bedroom. The problem here is this belief in the all empowering spark – it's the fairy tale that we all believe we need to have in order for a relationship to turn into love. In fact, the spark and love are completely unrelated. They are like two complete strangers who happen to be at the same party. He's kind, funny, fully available and sexy, they have great sex and she loves him. So we politely decline when he tries for date number three (sometimes even date number two). She went on to say that while she loved him very much, she knew it was never going to work out in the long term because she never felt that elusive spark. This woman was talking about a man who she feels is her best friend. I know this is an extreme example, and most, if not all of us would be smart enough to say “yes” to this guy and start growing old together, but the reality is that a version of this happens to so many of us all the time.. I had to read it again, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. It was such a reminder of what settling really is and isn't.